


he's got a girlfriend anyway

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-02
Updated: 2013-04-02
Packaged: 2017-12-07 05:38:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/744886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis will only ever love Harry in the cover of darkness. </p><p>Or: the one where Harry is in love with Louis and it fucking hurts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	he's got a girlfriend anyway

**Author's Note:**

> Title adapted from The 1975's song 'Sex'. The original lyric is 'she's got a boyfriend anyway' but obviously I changed it to fit the situation.  
> It's completely unbeta'ed spur of the moment type thing and its almost 2 am so don't judge me too harshly.  
> I don't own one direction - just thought I'd let you know.

Harry's excuse is that it was fun at first. It really was. The excitement that pulsed within his veins because Louis has a girlfriend. Because Louis thinks he's resolutely straight. Harry liked it. He liked the way Louis would be unsure and a bit too fumbly at first - until he got used to Harry. He liked the covert stares at school across lunch tables, the clinking of wrists as they passed each other in the hallway. He kind of got off on pulling Louis into closed off corners and abandoned hallways in the five minute gap between lessons to kiss. He always made sure he mussed Louis' hair in a way that couldn't be easily explained away. 

But now - now this kind of shit is getting old. They're halfway through their last year of sixth form. They shouldn't be fucking around, dancing on the dangerous line of getting caught. They shouldn't but they are and Harry can't quite bring himself to tear himself away from Louis. 

He realises, now, that he's an idiot because he let feelings get involved and really, really shouldn't have. He's been told before by his mum that he has a fragile glass heart. This was when he realised that he liked boys and that the boy he was in love with was in love with a girl. It hurt. He felt like shit, ashamed he'd let himself feel like that for someone unattainable, swore to himself he wouldn't feel like that again. 

Oh, look at the glorious irony of that.

But being in love with Louis is different. It's new and exciting and the sly looks across the common room before form do more to him than a touch from someone he didn't love could. Being in love with Louis is like standing the edge of cliff and not being afraid of falling because you know it's going hurt but that you want to, because those brief moments in which you're flying and not falling are the brief moments of bliss you've been waiting your whole life for. 

It's the same routine as it always is: Harry goes to one of Louis' friend's parties and he socialises with his own friends for a while, trying to search for Louis and trying to be covert about it at the same time. He finds him in a corner with his girlfriend who is girl with a vagina. He tries not to stare and fails. He makes sure Louis is aware that Harry's there and he slinks off, excusing himself from his friends to get a drink. He does get a drink: plastic cup of straight vodka. He then decides its too much and so downs half of it and fills the cup with coke. Then he goes upstairs, knowing Louis will be in one of the rooms, waiting for him. 

When Harry finds him, he's breathless. He has this odd pain in his chest that he finds is sort of relieved when he's next to Louis, kissing Louis. The pain is always there and it only ever fades when he's around Louis. 

They don't have sex. Normally they do, but not tonight. Harry realises that Louis is already too drunk, but he sort of doesn't mind because a drunken Louis is an honest Louis and Louis is far too good at hiding his emotions, 

So, they're just led on a strangers' bed, Harry holding Louis closely to him, murmuring incoherent nothings into his hair. And - its nice, you know, to slip into a moment like this and to let himself love Louis. He lets himself forget that Louis might not love him back. He lets himself pretend. And he knows, is quite aware of the fact, that he's being naive. He knows Louis is probably using him because he can. And normally this bothers him deeply, but not now. 

"Lou," Harry says at one point, just because it's all he can think about right now. 

"Hmm?" Louis sounds sleepy - or just drunk. 

"I love you." And he's never said it before, not in this way, not with this amount of emotion in his chest, filling him up, yet also making him feel completely light, weightless.

Harry hears Louis inhale in a way that suggests he's about to reply, even hears the begnnings of "Harry, I lo-" but then there's harsh banging at the locked door.

"Shit," Louis says, sitting up. He looks completely panicked because he's about to get caught in a locked room alone with Harry, about to get caught confessing his love for Harry. The light feeling in Harry's chest is completely gone now. Its laden with the thought, the knowledge, that Louis will only ever love him in the dark when no one can hear or see him and that it doesn't matter if Harry is only person capable of loving him properly, because they're both boys and he has a girlfriend anyway. 


End file.
